Perfectionism

Perfectionism often looks like the secret ingredient to success. Striving for the highest standards. Leaving no stone unturned. Pushing harder than everyone else. From the outside, it can look like discipline, drive, and commitment. And in some ways, it is. In the short term, perfectionism can fuel results. It can help people get through long hours of training, pull off big projects, and rise to challenges that others may not be willing to take on.

But here is the part we do not talk about enough. The very perfectionism that pushes people forward can also be the thing that quietly pulls them apart. I have sat with too many high performers, from Olympians to business leaders, who are exhausted, burnt out, and questioning why they no longer feel any joy in the work they once loved. They are trapped in a cycle that looks successful on the outside but feels crushing on the inside.

Perfectionism has a voice, and it is rarely kind. It whispers, “It’s never enough.” “One mistake means you are a failure.” “If you slow down, someone else will overtake you.” “Rest is weakness.” For a while, those beliefs may seem useful. They keep you striving. They keep you sharp. But the cost is high. Burnout. Fear of failure. Loss of joy. Relationships that take a back seat. And perhaps worst of all, a constant sense that no matter how much you do, it is still not good enough.

The alternative is not about lowering your standards or being careless. It is about shifting your relationship with those standards. Excellence does not come from punishment. It comes from persistence, recovery, and being anchored to values that matter to you. When you are connected to why you do what you do, you can still aim high, but the striving is no longer fuelled by fear. It is fuelled by purpose.

That shift changes everything. Instead of being derailed by mistakes, you learn from them and keep moving. Instead of burning out, you build the ability to reset and return. Instead of chasing an impossible ideal, you find meaning in the process itself.

So rather than asking, “Was I perfect?” try asking, “Was I present? Did I act in line with what matters to me?” Because that is where sustainable performance lives. High performance is not about being flawless. It is about being human, and still choosing to show up in the moments that count.

By Caroline Anderson